What if...? (6)

What if we could go back and change the effects of something? Like we could go back to a day and change the way it turned out. Or maybe we could go back and repeat a day that we really liked? Would people do it? I know they say everything makes you stronger, but how does it make you stronger when it's so hard to comprehend? I would go back to November 8th if I had a choice. I spoke with my uncle that day for the very last time. I didn't know that then, but if I did, I would have tried to say something to change his mind. I would try to say something to make him not do what he did November 9th. I don't know if I'll ever move on from the pain. It has been hard to sleep. I'm always tired, but when I go to bed, I can't get my mind off it all. He was an inspiration. I looked up to everything about him, and now it's like I question it all. I was so much like him. What if I screwed up like he did? I say that I have too much to let go of. I have my family, friends, God, everything. But so did he. He loved his family. He was a Christian. But he still couldn't handle it. It's all tough to handle and comprehend. But I make it through it. So if people could go back, would they? I would want to go back, but I wouldn't want him to be suffering like he was, even though he didn't show it. There are also days I would repeat if I could. The days that seemed like they were so perfect, and you didn't want them to end. Though we can't do either of these things, I know I'm not the only person that wishes we could. Even if we could go back, that doesn't mean we could change the effects of the day and make them better. Everyone has free will that can't be messed with, no matter how hard we may try.